


Howl

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bad Parenting, Blood, But The Asshole Gets What's Coming, Coming Out, Confessions, Dark Liam Dunbar, First Kiss, Homophobia, Introspection, Licking, M/M, Minor Chris Argent/Dr. Geyer, Murder, On the Run, Realization, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27729514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: For so long, Liam has pushed down who he is, and focused on who he feels like he's supposed to be. Until one night be snaps and it all comes out into the open. Once it does, there's no going back.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 11
Kudos: 54





	Howl

**Author's Note:**

> Title and lyrics come from [Howl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAfZZte_lUM) by KAYE. Which is an awesome song, and I recommend listening to it while reading because it really sets the tone for this fic. And honestly the whole album is 🔥.
> 
> I also have to point out Liam's mom is _not_ Jenna in this for reasons.

What is good? What is bad? It’s a line that’s always blurred in Liam’s mind. Though he’s always tried to see the good. To do what’s right. At least what he’s always been told is good. For so long he’s made himself walk the line. To be the man and son he’s supposed to be.

Clean his room. Get good grades. Be the best. But don’t step out of line.

But underneath all that is anger. Anger he’s always been made to feel ashamed for feeling. So he pushes it down. He pushes and he pushes and pushes. He works so damn hard to be good.

And why? At the end of the day what’s the point?

He looks across the room at his parents. First at his mom, the woman his dad married, and then his father. He doesn’t love her. Liam knows that. He’s known that since he was young, and yet his dad had married her anyway. 

“It’s the right thing to do,” he’d heard his dad say. “You need a father for the kid, and I want a son. I’ll never get one otherwise.”

It took a long time for Liam to realize what his father meant. It took him coming home from school early one afternoon and finding his father locked in an embrace with Chris Argent. They hadn’t noticed him. And Liam had stood floored to the spot, watching as they kissed and hands roamed. His father had kept whispering “it’s wrong. This is wrong. Wrong.” But he hadn’t stopped it.

Liam had walked out of the house and taken his bike to Mason’s, feeling more confused than ever. If it was so wrong then why was he doing it? 

After that Liam started noticing things. He noticed how his parents never touched. At least not when it was only them. The only time they did was when they had company, and even then it was limited. For appearances, Liam realized. 

Liam noticed the glances his dad would share with Chris Argent, the way their hands would brush when they’d pass each other, the casual shoulder grabs that would turn into hands passing down backs. Always when they thought no one was looking. Because no one else ever was. No one save him. And his mom. His mom noticed. And that was the most confusing part. Didn’t she care? 

He asked her one night, and she’d glared at him and got into his face, her eyes glazing. “You will never speak of that to anyone else? Do you hear me? No one.”

Liam nodded and agreed. 

She had smiled and gone back to making dinner. And that was that. Issue closed.

Except Liam kept noticing. And with that he started noticing things about himself too. Things he pushed down and kept hidden. A truth only known to himself. 

Then Mason came out. 

Liam remembers sitting there, listening as Mason had told him that truth about himself. He remembers Mason’s fear, but also how happy he’d been. Liam had envied that freedom Mason had found. And yet, even as he’d hugged Mason and told him this didn’t change anything for them and they’d always be friends, he’d wondered why he couldn’t have that freedom too?

_Aren't you tired of fighting?  
Aren’t you tired of fighting yourself?  
Aren't you tired of hiding?  
Aren't you tired of hiding from yourself?_

Now Liam watches as his dad excuses himself from the conversation and walks towards the kitchen. He meets Chris Argent’s gaze on the way by and gives a subtle nod of his head, before disappearing. 

“I’ll help,” Chris says, before standing and following his dad. 

Liam watches to see if anyone notices, and no one does. No one ever does. 

“You okay?” Mason asks him.

Liam shrugs, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I know how hard the holidays are,” Mason says, keeping his voice low. “Especially with…”

He nods his head to where Liam’s grandfather is sitting. And Liam gets it. His grandfather is a vile man. Liam hates when he visits because he always has to listen to his horrible opinions that he likes to speak loudly and as if they’re fact. 

“I don’t know how you don’t just tell him to shove it,” Mason says. “Or your dad hasn’t.”

“It’s not that easy,” Liam says. But god he wishes it was. He wishes he could cross the room and tell that asshole off. 

The familiar anger is there, simmering beneath the surface, as a voice that sounds a little too much like Theo Raeken whispers in his mind. _“Why don’t you?”_

“Have you seen Theo?” Liam asks him.

Mason raises an eyebrow, “Why would I?”

“I don’t know,” Liam says. “I was hoping he would be here.”

“Did you invite him?”

“I said there was going to be a small gathering if he wanted to come,” Liam says.

“Did you happen to mention how homophobic your grandfather is?” Mason asks. “Because trust me, if I didn’t love you and I heard about him, I’d be steering clear of this place.”

Liam sighs. Liam might have mentioned how horrible his grandfather is when he was ranting to Theo the other night. But he’d also mentioned how much easier it would be on him if Theo was here. He was hoping that would be enough to get Theo to come. It hadn’t.

Not that it matters. He doesn’t need Theo here. So what if he feels calmer with Theo around, if Theo somehow settles the rage inside him. He can do that himself. It’s not as if he’s suddenly going to snap.

“Liam,” Mason whispers. “Claws.”

Liam looks down to see his claws digging into the fabric of his jeans and closes his eyes, trying to calm himself. 

“I swear they’re just trying to take over,” Liam’s grandfather says, voice rising. Liam’s calm snaps away like a rubber band against his skin. “Shoving their damned lifestyle in our faces as if it’s normal.”

Next to him, Mason tenses, and the whole room goes silent. His grandfather smirks. This is what he was hoping for. A captive audience. 

“It’s not right,” he says, louder. Liam notices his father slipping back into the room. For a moment, he wonders if maybe for once his dad is going to tell him off. He doesn’t. He doesn’t speak. He just hangs back.

_“He’s going to say what he wants to say,” his father had told him. “It’s just who he is_.”

Liam has spent years accepting that as truth. As fact. His grandfather yells and berates and they all accept it. Why wouldn’t they? 

But now there’s another voice in his head, becoming incessantly louder. Why should they?

“Be good,” he whispers to himself. “Be good.”

Liam’s grandfather keeps ranting as across the room his father talks in hushed whispers to Chris. Chris who doesn’t look happy. Who is red faced and gesturing at his grandfather. His father is speaking quickly. No one else can hear. But Liam can.

“It’s just how he is,” his father says.

“That’s what you always say,” Chris says. “It’s how _he_ is. How _it_ is. You keep saying things won’t always be this way. But I don’t think you really believe that.”

“Chris…”

“Do you love me?” Chris cuts in. His father’s mouth snaps closed. “Do you _love me_?”

Liam waits with bated breath. Waits to see what his father’s answer will be. It’s hard to hear now over the blood pounding in his ears. His grandfather is still screaming and his father is silent. So silent. He’s always silent. Always stoic. Never saying anything wrong.

_Be good, Liam. Be good_.

But what is good? What is right? What is wrong? Who gets to decide that? People like his grandfather? People who think that they can dictate who people love? How they live their lives? 

“I do,” his father whispers finally. The breath feels like it’s been knocked out of Liam. “I love you.” 

And of course he does. Liam doesn’t know why that surprises him. It’s been clear for so long his parents don’t love each other. But still, hearing the words send Liam’s head spinning. His father doesn’t love his mother because he loves Chris. 

“Then be with me,” Chris says. “Stop this charade, David.”

“I can’t,” David says. “I can’t. My Dad.”

“It’s not right!” his grandfather is still shouting. “I won’t stand for this! If my son or grandson was like that I’d…”

“You’d what?” Liam says suddenly. He turns to his grandfather, the rage he’s been pushing down for so long bubbling beneath his skin. It’s ready to be let out. All he has to do is let it.

_Aren't you tired of fighting?  
Aren't you tired of fighting yourself?  
What if I pleased only myself instead  
Would every night my teeth fall out of my head_

“Liam,” his father says, suddenly standing behind him. “Son?”

“What would you do?” Liam asks, slowly stepping closer to his grandfather. “Huh?”

“Well I’d put an end to this nonsense,” his grandfather says.

“Yeah?” Liam asks. “How? Would you beat it out of us?”

“Liam,” his mother says, a warning note in her voice. 

Liam ignores her. He ignores all of them. All the eyes on him, the voices telling him to stop. To be good. He doesn't want to anymore. He doesn’t care what they think. And god it feels so freeing. 

“Well?” Liam asks.

“I think you need to take a step back,” his grandfather tells him.

“Again,” Liam says. “What are you going to do about it, old man? You gonna hit me?” Liam leans in closer. “Because you know what, grandpa? We are what you hate so much.”

His grandfather inhales sharply, and Liam can feel the rage and disgust radiating off him. He smirks. “Yeah. That’s right. I’m _gay_.”

Liam’s grandfather swings a fist at him, but Liam easily catches it. He squeezes, feeling the bones start to crack under his grip. The old man cries out and Liam laughs. “Not so tough now, are you?”

“Liam!” his father yells.

Liam turns, his face shifted and eyes blazing yellow and his family gasps. Yet another secret is out, but Liam doesn’t care. Not now. “Stay back,” he growls.

“Liam you don’t want to do this,” his father says.

Liam laughs, “Do what? What you were always so afraid to do?”

“You let me go boy,” his grandfather snarls. 

Liam turns back to him, “No. I don’t think so.”

“David you better control your monster of a son,” his grandfather says, looking right through Liam to where his father is standing. “Or I’ll…”

“You’ll what?” Liam asks, his voice quiet. Dangerous. It’s how he feels right now. It should feel wrong, what he’s doing, but it doesn’t.

“I know people,” his grandfather smirks. “People who could deal with mutts like you.”

Liam laughs and grabs him by the throat with his free hand, his claws piercing into his skin, “You’re not going to make it out of here to call them.”

“Are you threatening me?” 

Even now, with Liam’s hand at his throat, he’s still as indignant and self-righteous as ever. Liam wants him to be afraid. He wants him to feel a little bit of what he’s made so many other people feel their whole lives. 

Liam leans in close and tightens his grip on the old man’s throat. “No. It’s a promise.”

Liam smells the fear then. The scent as bitter and foul as the old man himself. He revels in it. “I want you to say it.”

“What?” his grandfather asks.

“Say you’re wrong,” Liam says, digging his claws deeper into his neck. “Say you’re sorry.”

His grandfather glares at him, “No.”

“Liam,” his mother says, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Liam stop this.”

“No,” Liam says. “This is what he deserves.”

“Sweetheart…”

Liam laughs, something cold. “Sweetheart? Now’s not the time to start pretending you care, Veronica.”

“I’m your mother,” she says. “We’re your family.”

“I have a family,” Liam says. “And it’s not you.”

“At least he knows his place,” his grandfather says. “There’s not room in this family for monsters.”

Liam’s about to say he’s not the monster here, but he stops himself. Why deny it? He’s pushing down his instincts for so long. He’s been fighting himself and hiding who he is. But not anymore. No more. 

_How will I howl  
How will I regret  
Murdering your heart  
I couldn't stop from changing_

Before anyone can say anything else, Liam removes his hand from his grandfather’s neck, and seconds later drives it back down, driving his claws deep into his throat. His grandfather’s scream dies on a gasp, as gargles in his mouth, slipping past his lips. Liam removes his claws and slashes down again and again and again. Blood is spattering out, coating his hands and face and clothes. He hears laughter, and it takes him a moment to realize it’s coming from him. Behind him his family screams and runs for the door. 

A hand settles on Liam’s hand, and Liam turns, prepared to lash out at whoever it is. Then he sees Mason. “Liam. He’s dead.”

He turns and looks back at his grandfather. Mason is right. The man is staring straight ahead, gaze unfocused. His mouth parted on a silent scream. Liam removes his hand and his grandfather slumps to the floor. 

“Liam,” his father whispers. “What have you done?”

Liam turns and looks at where his father is standing, back to the wall. Chris is there, his face grim as he looks down at the dead body behind Liam. “I freed us,” Liam says. “We don’t hide ourselves anymore.”

“This wasn’t the way son,” his father says.

Liam shakes his head, “It was the only way.”

Liam turns and walks away. He doesn’t look back, and no one tries to stop him this time. He’s not sure where he’s going. He just knows he can’t be there anymore. He probably never can again. He can only imagine how he looks, walking the streets covered in blood. It’s only a matter of time before someone finds him. What then? Will they arrest him? Kill him? No matter what happens next, he doesn’t regret what he did.

Liam finds himself in the preserve as the sun begins to set in the distance. His feet take him down the now familiar paths, leading him nowhere in particular. It’s instinct, really. A feeling that this is where he should be right now.

A branch snaps nearby, and Liam tenses. Until the scent hits him. Theo. 

“You can come out,” Liam says. “I know you’re here, Theo.”

A few seconds later, Theo emerges from the trees and steps onto the path in front of Liam.

“Liam.” Theo looks him over, his gaze curious, but not scared. And why would he be? Theo’s faced worse than Liam. “What the hell happened to you?”

“I just wolfed out and killed my grandfather in front of my whole family,” Liam says. There’s no point in denying it. It’s only a matter of time before word spreads. And besides, if anyone wasn’t going to judge Liam for what happened, it’s Theo. God, it’s always been Theo that understands him better than anyone, hasn’t it? That brought out all these feelings in Liam that he was too afraid to name.

Theo’s face remains passive as he steps closer. He reaches out and touches Liam’s face. The touch is too soft, not enough. “How did it feel?” Theo asks him.

Liam closes his eyes, letting himself go back to that moment. How it felt to tear into flesh and muscle. To feel the blood coating his hands and the life slipping from the man that’s tormented so many people. A small, slow smile spreads across his lips as he opens his eyes. “Good. It felt good.”

“Yeah?” Theo asks, brushing his thumb across Liam’s lip. “You liked it?”

Liam looks up at Theo with a smile, “I did.” He leans in closer, running his nose along Theo’s jaw. He inhales deeply, taking in the intoxicating scent of Theo. Pine. Mint. Something deeper, headier, that has Liam’s pulse thrumming. Desire. “I’m tired of hiding, Theo.”

“You don’t have to hide with me, Liam,” Theo says. He tugs Liam’s hair until Liam’s looking at him again. “You can be yourself with me, darkness and all.”

“The darkness doesn’t scare you?” Liam asks. Liam knows the answer, but he needs to hear Theo say it.

Liam gasps when Theo flicks his tongue out and licks a stripe across Liam’s cheek. Liam catches a flash of red on his tongue and groans when he realizes Theo’s licked the blood off his cheek. Theo smirks and does it again. “Your darkness could never scare me, Liam,” Theo murmurs. “It’s beautiful. Intoxicating. As much a part of you as everything else. Can’t you see that?”

Liam nods, “I do now.”

Theo grins, “Good.”

Theo kisses him, hard and demanding. He licks into Liam’s mouth, and Liam groans at the taste of blood still lingering on his tongue. He chases it, giving back as good as he’s giving. “I want you,” Liam whispers against his lips.

“You have me,” Theo tells him. “You’ve always had me.”

Sirens sound in the distance and Theo turns his head, much to Liam’s displeasure. “We can’t stay here.”

Liam nods, “I know. They’ll be looking for me. But I can’t ask you to…”

“I’m in this,” Theo says.

“You know if you come with me you’ll be a fugitive too,” Liam says.

Theo shrugs, “And? I’ve dealt with worse.”

Liam smiles and kisses him again, “Well then, I guess we better start running, huh?”

“My truck is parked nearby, “Theo tells him. He takes Liam’s hand and starts walking down the path, further into the preserve. 

“You think it’s safe to take?” Liam questions, even as he climbs inside.

“Normally I’d suggest we take a different car. But they don’t know we’re together and think you’re on foot. So we should be fine.”

Liam still crawls into the floorboard and keeps his head low as they drive through town. His blood is thrumming in his veins as the sound of sirens grow louder, coming right towards them. Anticipating builds in him, but then they’re passing right by, and the sound grows fainter and fainter, until it disappears.

“Idiots,” Theo laughs. “No wonder they can’t catch criminals.”

“Did you want them to catch us?” Liam asks him.

Theo grins down at him, “Of course not. But they’re still not very bright.”

It’s a few miles outside of town that Theo finally deems it safe for Liam to crawl up onto the seat. Liam looks out the back window as the down gets further and further away. He thinks of Mason, of what he’s leaving behind, but he knows there’s no choice. He wouldn’t survive that town. It’s not his home anymore.

He shoots an apology text to Mason and then rolls the window down, tossing his phone out, watching as it hits the concrete. And there it goes, his last tie to Beacon Hills. He looks over at Theo, taking in his profile. For so long he’d been afraid to give in to how he felt about him. Afraid to admit those feelings, and acknowledge what they meant about him. 

He leans across the seat and waits until Theo turns to look at him before leaning in and kissing him. Theo smiles against his lips. “Keep distracting me like this and we could crash.”

“Well then,” Liam says, running his hand up Theo’s thigh as he nips at his jaw. “I guess you’ll just have to keep your eyes on the road.”

“Liam,” Theo gasps as Liam moves further down Theo’s body, stopping at the waistband of his jeans. He pops the button open, and then moves the zipper down. “What are you doing?”

There’s a voice in his head, telling him this is wrong. It’s all wrong. But he ignores it. He’s tired of listening to it. Not when this all feels so right. “Something good,” Liam tells him. “But only if you want me to.”

Theo takes a shuddering breath and grabs Liam by the hair and yanks him up until their faces are level. “I do, but maybe once we’re somewhere I’m not likely to kill us.”

“Come on, Theo,” Liam murmurs. “Where’s your sense of danger.”

Theo growls and kisses him hard, “Maybe I just want to live long enough to make it last and enjoy you properly.”

Liam bites his lip and smirks, “Well then, I guess you better find us someplace to spend the night.”

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Theo sighs.

That very well might be true at some point, but at least for now Liam’s going to enjoy the hell out of the road ahead of them. No matter where it takes them.

_Who you love’s not in your conscious control_  
_I wanna do the wrong thing_  
_I feel it coming_  
_I wanna do the wrong thing_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/comments make my day 💜  
> You can find me [here on tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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